The Dance of Connection by Harriet Lerner

Author:Harriet Lerner
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: HarperCollins

During this difficult time, Lorraine needed to take good care of herself. To this end, I encouraged her to establish and strengthen connections outside her marriage and to reach out for all the support she needed and deserved. At first Lorraine treated the crisis like a shameful secret. Her silence on the matter only increased her sense of shame, when there was nothing shameful about her situation to begin with. Lorraine needed to talk openly to trusted friends and family because her situation was too difficult to tough out alone or even with therapy as the only resource for input.

I also encouraged Lorraine to engage in creative and healthful activities—anything that would fuel her strength and sense of well-being. She insisted she wasn’t even up to loading the dishwasher, but she needed to push herself. Grounding activities—yoga, dancing, walking, attending cultural events—were an essential part of her survival plan. In addition to it being a generally good idea to live healthfully, these activities help lower anxiety and foster a more solid self, which is the foundation for a clearer voice.

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